Todays Puns (Because everyone needs to groan once in a while)

  1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
  Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

   2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it
  turned out to be an optical Aleutian  .

   3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

   4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class,
  because it was a weapon of math disruption.

   5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little
  behind in his work.

   6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

  7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

   8.   A grenade thrown into a kitchen in  France  would result in
  Linoleum Blownapart.

   9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

   10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

   11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are
    looking into it.

   12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

   13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat
  said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

   14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

   15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

   16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a
  hospital.  When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a
  nurse said 'No change yet.'


   17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

   18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small
  medium at large.

   19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
  seasoned veteran.

   20. A backward poet writes inverse.

   21. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's
  your count that votes.

   22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

   23. Don't join dangerous cults:  Practice safe sects !

   24.  A crowded elevator smells different to a midget.

Divine Mercy Sunday

 

Bishop William E. Lori will be the celebrant at the Divine Mercy Sunday Mass on April 11, 2010 at 2:30 p.m. at Assumption Church in Westport, CT.  There will also be a blessing with a relic of St. Faustina.  Please come and join everyone in a joyful celebration of God's Mercy.  A reception with the Bishop immediately following in McGrath Hall (downstairs in the church).  For additional information, call Dian Mayo:  1-203-938-2113.  Please spread the word to friends and relatives that all may be truly

blessed.  

From Inspired Faith: Obedience

We all know there are negative consequences to disobeying God, but do we ever stop to consider all the blessings and rewards that come to us through obedience? Have we made obedience a drudgery that steals the fun from life, rather than affirming how much sweeter and better it makes life? There are more rewards and blessings from obedience than can be listed on a single page, but consider the following as you look up the corresponding Bible verses.

* Obedience gives us a clean conscience:
Psalm 19:13
* Obedience keeps us from danger:
Psalm 119:10
* Obedience brings material blessings:
Deuteronomy 11:13–15
* Obedience prolongs life:
Deuteronomy 11:9
* Obedience is a blessing to our family:
Psalm 112:1–3
* Obedience brings joy:
Psalm 119:33–35
* Obedience frees us from addictive habits:
Psalm 119:44–45
* Obedience increases our faith:
James 2:17

Lord God, thank You for enriching my life as I walk in Your ways. Amen.

The Richest Man in Town

“The Richest Man in Town” movie is all about leading with your heart and a service attitude.  It may make you laugh, cry or both. Enjoy this 3 minute movie that may also cause you to pause to reflect on life.